Awakening loneliness

by - Sunday, September 21, 2008

Currently: tired. Really should be doing homework, but I'm feeling deep right now. Listening to "Awakening" (Rhapsody version) by Switchfoot.

Sometimes, its a comforting feeling, being alone.
And sometimes, the feeling is the coldest, most intense sense of anxiousness you get.

I'm not being cryptic or anything. I've just been thinking heaps about isolation.
Probably cause I watched I Am Legend yesterday night. Not as good as I thought...
I watched Will Smith slip into different stages of insanity. He began talking to mannequins...pretend to chat one up in an empty video store. He pleaded to hear someone else's voice. Then he got to the point where he was ready to die because he was alone. Loneliness almost killed him.
And then the animated cartoon which was in the bonus features of the dvd. The one of a girl in Hong Kong who was the only one left uninfected. It was titled "Death as a Gift." She jumped because of her loneliness.

Sometimes, its a comforting feeling, being alone. The stillness. Being able to hear your own breath. Your own thoughts. To feel open with all the space to be free.
And sometimes the loneliness will get to you.

I'm putting "Awakening" on repeat.
I'm alone in this room. My speakers are on. And I feel like screaming out the lyrics with Jon.
"Face down with the LA curbside endings, with the ones and zeros.
Downtown was the perfect place to hide.
The first star that I saw last night was a headlight
Of a man made sky, but man made never made our dreams collide. Collide.
Here we are now with the falling sky and the rain. We're awakening.
Here we are now with the desperate youth and pain. We're awakening.
Maybe it's called ambition.
You've been talking in your sleep. About a dream.
We're awakening."

I want to feel a sense of living right now. But how can you feel that in the loneliness? It's peaceful. It's quiet.
But I want to wake up kicking and screaming.



Okay, a little dark for my usual blog.
I'll stop now.
Go watch the Chasers War to Everything. They have a giant horse =D

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