2014 Grammy Fashion Review
currently: hating the heat.
Oh Lorde, another Grammys Fashion Review.
So I have to admit, this year I didn't watch the Grammys, at all. I know - with NZ's own Lorde being nominated, it was pretty much an excuse for the entire country to not work and just watch Grammys. But that day happened to be Auckland Anniversary, and also the day that the power company shut off our street's power until 6pm. Had I been at home instead of shopping...well it would have been a useless waste of a holiday.
And of course, this post was also delayed by Laneway on that same night (Haim was excellent thanks), followed by my net cutting out last night. Good times people.
But of course, despite not being able to catch it live the first time round, I still tried to keep up with the red carpet arrivals for my favourite fashionable event - only to be let down... I don't know if it's just me, but this year's fashions seemed a bit middle ground. That or the more extravagant stars gave attending a miss because they weren't nominated for anything (coughmileyladygaganickiminajcough).
But of course, there were still a few stars who knew how to work it, and those who didn't at all. Let the reviews begin!
To start, we may as well clear the way from all the awards Lorde wins, including Best Dressed Kiwi, Best Recycling of a School Uniform and Most Unlikely Use of Black for the artsy black gangrene finger dip she rocked during her performance.
Moving on from New Zealand's only 17-year-old Grammy winner, to a woman that I don't even know why she's at the awards, Paris Hilton earned the Award for Mullet Philosophy, with a dress that just said "business in the front, cheap Vegas party out the back area of the club".
Nothing says class like not wearing underwear. Take it from Miley.
Also, why does your zipper sag like that?
The award for Woman Most Likely to be an Old Man in Disguise was almost won by Yoko Ono...
But speaking of men that make it happen, one man always deserves the award for Best Dressed Male.
Most of the other men who attended did an excellent job of dressing up too, but Most Improved Male/Most Surprising Result went to Wiz Khalifa.
A male also took out Most Memorable Accessory, which beat out Lorde's fingernails by a point.
Now of course, this leaves Worst Dressed Male. And while I couldn't find many awful suits, this guy was the only person I could pick.
Anyway, moving on from men in suits, Most Predictable Outfit went to another female again this year, but this time, it wasn't for Taylor Swift:
A woman who's queen of variety is Cindy Lauper, who wins an award for Bizzare Limb Positioning.
And speaking of skin, the award for Worst Reason to Wear Nude goes to Skylar Grey, who I have no idea who she is.
Anyway, now we come to the good stuff. The Best Dressed Nominees. And it was hard to pick best dressed this year. But these few get some honorable mentions:
But the winner had to be a woman who was able to work all them curves. Including the fetus forming within her.
And now, to the Worst Dressed Females. And there were plenty (my original worst dressed list had 8). But I've narrowed it down to three finalists and one awful winner... And the nominees are:
So, what outfit really beats all of that? What became the worst of the Worst Dressed?
I don't know what people are thinking when they're calling this outfit "fresh and innovative." If you're into prairie clothing that came from materials in a travelling circus act, then sure.
And of course, as a final award, the infamous Lady Gaga Award, which has actually only gone to Lady Gaga once in three years. Where has she been hiding?
This year though, it goes to an unlikely recipient, but of course when you see him, it's fully understandable why he gets the award: