Hello, my name is Melissa and I have spent the past two hours unable to think about what to write.
Everyone considers New Years as the best time to re-evaluate your life and set yourself goals to complete in the space of 365 days. But the fact is I've been spending the last two months re-evaluating my life. And I've still not pinpointed where I want to go.
Being 22 is interesting. It's a time where more people finish their degrees and start searching for careers. It's a time where people travel within the rules of being young and being disposable with income. It's a time where people think about engagements and marriage. It's a time where people truly think about their futures.
But not me. I've just been merely existing.
I call 2012 my year of stress; where things ran so fast and I was out of breath trying to keep up with time. And so because of that, 2013 I think became my year of settling.
It's easy now to settle into a routine and let things happen to me. I talk a lot, I think of possibilities, but I don't bother seeking for much outside my comfort zone if I can help it. And that's all on me. I thought it was just me becoming more of an easy-going, relaxed person and letting things flow. Or maybe that's me becoming lazy and comfortable with a 5-day working week. But I realised that it's not a good idea to keep doing that. I struggled to stay awake on New Years Eve - I'm starting to become that person now, with very little to say what I've accomplished this year.
2013 Achievements:So, what will I do in 2014 to not be that person that ends 2013 on a whimper? Originally I was going to write a list of all the things I refuse to accomplish this year which would have just had 'not get fat', 'not play so much Candy Crush' and 'not get engaged right now like everyone says I should.'
[x] still have a job I like.
[x] still have a boyfriend I like.
[x] still have not been kicked out of home.
[x] still have all my limbs.
But I've thought further and instead of just settling and avoiding things, this year I would instead write down where I would like to better myself. To be more aware of my flaws, rather than just "do something for 365 days".
So, to make myself accountable to everything, here is my public list, open for everyone to read, about what I will do to improve myself this year.
1) Write more for myself, and write it down faster.
My job as an online editor is great except when you use up all your creativity between the hours of 9-5 and come home to have a blog post stare at you uncompleted. I have so many uncompleted blog posts, it's about time I sat down, focused and finished them faster.
2) Be healthier.
It's time I took my health more seriously. Most of the time I don't care about what I eat, I just see what's in front of me and go for it. This year I'm going to be more self-conscious about what I do eat, and how much I exercise, and how much I drink etc. My health problems need to change for the better.
3) Make a better name for myself.
I create things without credit more often than not, so now is the time to find more opportunities to give my name some meaning.
I might start this by reading a book and finding more inspiration in life. Or reading more fashion magazines and feature articles. YouTube gets boring after a while.
5) Get a (good) habit.
And by that I mean not sleeping in on Saturdays till 1pm, playing Candy Crush on every bus ride, and instead trying to doing something useful, like extend my knowledge of the Spanish language further than 'Hola nina.'
I'm really cynical and jaded at times. I'm also awful at weddings. And I'm so aware I need to stop it.
7) Read the Bible in a chronological order.
Just because it's fascinating. And easy when you've got one of those plans on your phone which tells you what to read.
Political issues can be important. It can be incredibly dull...but it's time to get a grasp on the world.
9) Save with purpose.
I save a lot, with the only reason to just save for the sake of keeping money. Yet for the past 2 years I've wanted to buy a brand new DSLR camera. I think I need to better manage my money further than "All this I'll save, here's the rest I can spend, including on buses."
Basically, I need to clear a lot of the junk in my life, but mainly the junk in my room and closet. Hoarding issues, and a lot of fabrics.
And that's it. Here's to 2014, the start of something. And I may as well start all these aspirations tomorrow, because it's back to work and back to 6.30am wakeups.