2014 MTV VMA Fashion Review

by - Monday, August 25, 2014

currently: listening to Sheppherd - Geronimo

Another year, another VMAs. Another year of questionable tastes in fashion.

This year didn't really seem as exciting as last year's, or as interesting. The only saving grace was probably Beyonce, as per usual.

But thankfully, there's always something to talk about when it comes to VMAs fashion, because in the words of our Lorde, "What is this?"


Best/Worst Matching Couple:
Katy Perry and Riff Raff.
They're the best matching couple because they match really well, yet again they match and it's super ugly, which makes it the worst. So I'm very conflicted with the best award to give them. But I do have two questions:
1) why are they doing a Britney and Justin?
and 2) who is Riff Raff?

Best Cosplay Outfit
Common who looks like a security guard on board of Star Trek (the newer one, not the William Shatner one.) Sweater vest + leather = Sweather vest.

Worst Turnaround
The difference a year makes Ariana Grande. While in the past she wore cute tea dresses, this year she's looking like a repurposed leather jacket. But what exactly is hanging under her dress? A zipper? A tail? Something else that's more dodgy?

Most like Bieber:
Austin Mahone. I've actually reached that age where I have no idea who this guy is and what song he sings, even though I've seen his name around a lot. But I guess what I can gather from this image, he's just another Bieber tween heartthrob dressed in white?

Most Cleavage:
  
It's a definite tie between Demi Lovato and Kim Kardashian who are just slipping out as much as they can without flopping out. I'm sure you could think of a hundred cleavage related puns for their draw. Such as 'they both win the cup'? Or that they definitely 'got a lot of support'? Stop me, please.

Most underwhelming outfit:
After Miley's VMA...everything last year, I suspected she'd be wearing something super outrageous and very ugly again. But no, this outfit is actually kinda nice, something I could actually picture other people wear. But it was very average none the less. She could have at least evened out her bra tan lines.

Best Dressed Male:
Ed Sheeran who has done a lot better as of late - wearing nice shirts and nice pants and not looking like he got off at a bus stop.

Worst Dressed Male:
Chris Brown, no matter what awards show you're at, your personality will always remain the ugliest thing on the red carpet.

Now, this year trying to figure out who was best and worst dressed females was a real effort:

Worst Dressed Female nominees include:
(from left to right)
Sarah Hyland - because she can never get it right. It looks like an outfit Gwen Stefani from No Doubt would want back in the 90s.
Jessie J - you know those lily flowers? This looks like an upside down dying version of one...or the discarded leaves of a corn cob.
Kesha - looks like her hair went through a kid's playdough machine and that her dress train was sewn on backwards.

But the winner of Worst Dressed Female?:
No it's not Taylor Swift's super leggy leotard. Amber Heard may as well have just been in her bra and underwear because it's not like the chained chandelier she was wearing was doing anything at all.

Meanwhile, for Best Dressed Female nominees... It was even harder to pick ones to be nominated.
(left to right)
Taylor Swift - a little controversial but I like the hair and make up and the top part of her outfit... But I don't think she should have even worn a romper. She knows how to show off her legs though.
Jennifer Lopez - because... this outfit, dammit. It's a look that says 'I'm a million dollars, no really, I am'.

But I don't know I picked this person as my Best Dressed Female. Maybe it's the way the dress hangs, the print, the way it's still a sexy dress without being over the top...
Michelle Williams. Yup that Destiny's Child member everyone forgot.

And finally, the Lady Gaga award for whatever Lady Gaga wears. But without Lady Gaga again, her award and spotlight will go to Lorde, which is pretty much a close match.


Bring on the next awards, cause the VMAs just wasn't enough for me.

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