2015 Academy Awards Fashion Review

by - Monday, February 23, 2015

currently: listening to 'Pray To God' by Calvin Harris feat Haim.

Finally. The last major awards event of the season.

I love award ceremonies (well the highlights) but the problem with award ceremonies while you live in New Zealand is that from 2.30pm (or 12pm if you're watching the red carpet) there are a good four hours where you're half distracted between work and watching the award show. Award shows are ridiculously time consuming. Thank goodness red carpet galleries are easy to flick through. Enjoy the last of this month's red carpet reviews from yours truly.

Starting off with the person I saw and couldn't help by cringe a little at, the first award goes to the Most Annoying Fringe:
Dakota Johnson. Everything about her fringe just makes me want to reach up to her head and fix her hair. Doesn't it bother her? Because that unkempt fringe bothers me. Bring that girl a comb. Or a hairclip. Just let me fix it.

It may not be the Grammy's but there was an outfit that was Most likely inspired by a Katy Perry song:
Jamie Chung. It's actually a cute dress but every time I look at it I think of Katy Perry's song Firework. Even the literal starburst makes it look like a Katy Perry outfit.

There were some outfits that didn't really need to be looked at, like the Most Predictable Outfit:
Jennifer Lopez. Again with the deep V neck.

Or this one, which deserved the J-Lo Lookalike Award.
Chrissy Teigen is following the rules of J-Lo Award Dressing. When in doubt, boobs and one leg out.

I haven't used this award before, but it seems very suiting to call this the Best Dairy Honouring Outfit
Jennifer Hudson. Someone said her dress looked like a stick of butter and now I can't unsee it. She's even got that hang of butter on the peplum of her dress. Butter.

Most Deflating Dress
Marion Cotillard. Only because her dress looks like popped bubblewrap and everyone knows how sad it is when you've popped all the bubblewrap you can see. And all the bubblewrap looks popped here.

Moving onto the men for a moment - while most of the men at these Film awards know how to put on a good suit, there's always one that you can count on to fall into the Worst Dressed Male.
Hey Will.i.am? Footlocker is at Westfield Mall, not at the Oscars Red Carpet.

And meanwhile Best Dressed Male may have a bit (okay a lot) of bias on my part.
Benedict Cumberbatch's kid is going to have the bluest eyes the world has ever seen.

Time for the final part, and the most memorable Worst Dressed Female Nominees. While most were alright, or meh, there were only a couple that stood out to me as cringeworthy.
Keira Knightly. Why are you dressing so badly? Are you getting pregnancy brain? Did you forget what's tasteful to wear? Because this dress looks like a French school child wrote over their grandma's table cloth or laundry room curtain with a marker. Is she trying to do an Angelina Jolie wedding dress?
Nicole Kidman appeared to have gotten the end of her dress caught in a paper shredder. And she had to tape her dress together with red electrical tape - which is the only bit of colour that isn't draining or washing her out. Was that fabric inspired by a fish market?

But Worst Dressed Female had to be won by someone, specially since they have been circling the cusp of worst dressed for some time.
Zendaya. I don't know what's with me and this girl but I'm always putting her in worst dressed categories. It's not that she's bad looking at all, it's just poor fashion choices. This time she looks like her dread covered lollypop head was put on top of a Barbie doll with a cheap ill fitting dress. The way her dress hangs of her shoulders is as lifeless as a deflated balloon. You could easily be the next fashionable Rihanna. Who is your stylist? Why does she do this to you?

Moving on anyway to something more pleasant on the eyes - Best Dressed Nominees:
Anna Kendrick. Her outfit is going to be the inspiration for every ball dress this season. Or at least that's what I'd like to think even though it's been five years since I was last in high school. Either way, her outfit fits flawlessly. En pointe with hair and makeup too.
Cate Blanchett. This is what dressing for your age and shape is about. Cate Blanchett is a classy woman who doesn't need a deep V neck to prove how pretty she is. A great fitting black dress that compliments her shape, with a stunning statement necklace, and she's got the style just right.

But sorry everyone, I had to pick my favourite actress for Best Dressed Female:
Emma Stone. Once again proving how gorgeous red heads can be, everything is pretty. From the hair, to the red lip, to the low back, tasteful skirt split, and most importantly - the colour. There are just certain colours red heads can't fail in, and this is one of them.

And surprise, surprise. It's not a music awards ceremony but we can have a Lady Gaga Award!
I didn't realise she had turned up for the awards until I relooked at the red carpet galleries. Not disappointed by a Lady Gaga appearance at all. She may look like a decorated napkin with oversized red dishwashing gloves, but she is looking really healthy. Because, despite all my fashion critiques, healthy is the most important look to have.

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