2016 Grammys Fashion Review

by - Monday, February 22, 2016

currently: better late than never, right? Right?

So the 2016 Grammys were on last Monday - where there were actually less awards given out, and more performances on stage which I quite liked. Of course the only thing was the show felt like 'Taylor Swift's Grammys, featuring Ed Sheeran and Selena Gomez'. Taylor in the opening, Taylor in the ending, and Taylor hugging people in between. I can't wait till Taylor Swift writes an album about this and her Kanye sass. Let's get on with my awards now!

The biggest outfit letdown:
Taylor Swift. Also winning most likely to be wearing togs on the red carpet, the so-called leader of the world's biggest squad of squads (I'm sure there's a number limit to how many people are allowed to be in one squad) had the public's highest expectations to wear an outfit so astounding that even Kelly Osbourne would run back to the E! Channel's Fashion Police to sing her praises. But no. The bob, the peekaboo underwear skirt, the top that looks like a red censor bar across her chest, and the bob. No. Best comment I've heard is that she looks like a paint sample panel at Resene (thanks Anne-Marie.) And her bob of hair looks like an Lego piece attachment. But hey, at least she was talked about, right?
Quite frankly, nothing will ever beat the 2012 Swift Red model.

Best looking jumpsuit

Kaley Cucuo. There once was a time I hated jumpsuits and onesies. They seemed boring, childlike, uncomfortable to wear, and super impractical when you have to use the bathroom. But this jumpsuit is worth overlooking all those jumpsuit flaws. Basically the outfit Taylor should have worn. Her look is effortless and stunning all at the same time, and I wish I could pull off hair like her.

The prettiest and frilliest nightie to ever walk on a coloured carpet
Florence Welsh. With embellishments that 7 year old kids wished they could put into their jeans, and nana-like frills so delicate like the dollies they own, at least Florence can roll out from the Grammys and go home to be a granny.

The Mulleting Mullets of Mullets Mulleter Mullet award
Zendaya. Mullet. Mullet, mullet, mullet. Never did I ever expect someone under the age of 25 to wear a mullet on the red carpet by choice and not in a Joe Dirt parody. The thing is she can be so stylish... that suit for example is perfect for her. But that mullet...

Best accessory:
Justin Bieber. Best accessory on the red carpet was his kid brother that looked like he really didn't want to be at the Grammys despite how ever Justin tried to make him smile and look excited. Justin Bieber may have been able to turn around his pop career but there's no chance he's turning a moody child.

Worst accessory:
Justin Bieber, and his moustache.

Best dressed male:
Sam Smith. Though someone almost ruined it for me when they compared Sam Smith to Kurt from Gilmore Girls. Almost ruined it, thanks.

The Mood Ring dress
Kacey Musgraves. I like the colour, I like her hair. I like her dress from certain angles, and then I hate it from others. This dress has me indecisive as ever.

The most useless use of "clothing" ever.
Joy Villa. I use that term "clothing" very useless. There are always a few weirdos at the Grammys, and this one isn't any different. Why the use of a fish skeleton as a red carpet outfit beats me. At least you know she's wearing underwear.

And now, for the more bigger awards...

The Best Dressed Nominees:
Chrissy Teigen. Of course she can make a baby bump look fantastic. And she just can pull off white and look a million dollars.
Ellie Goulding. What I love most about this dress is how old-school glamorous and traditional it appears from the front, with its baby pink colour, gentle shape and delicate straps. However, the back of the dress has this curtain of gorgeous metal chain that shows off Ellie's edgy side. Glam from the front, rock at the back. Classic Ellie.

But I just had to give the Best Dressed award to...
Selena Gomez. As someone who acted as Taylor's date and arm rest, she looked beautiful and shone bright on the red carpet. And I know for a while everyone was bagging on her gaining a bit more weight and looking curvier - but that should be embraced.

Which leaves the Worst Dressed Nomineesas...

Tori Kelly. It's a shame that she looked so gorgeous with the way she did her hair and make-up, but her dress weighed her down. The colour is great, but the cut, drape and shape of her skirt looks all wrong.
Janelle Monae. Usually Janelle Monae looks really slick and stylish. But her black and white number is a bit like a gothic candy seller crossed with a Japanese school girl. Also - round skirts?

So, who's left to be worst dressed?
Dencia. I have no idea who she is, no idea what she does. No one will remember this look next year. But good effort for channelling crazy and attempting to look like a bad Nicki Minaj impersonator.

But of course, who could ever forget this award; the Lady Gaga Award.
Lady Gaga doesn't fail. The last star to walk the Red Carpet, she stood out with her bright orange hair and bold blue embellished suit. A fitting tribute to the late and great David Bowie, nailing his androgynous style with classic Lady Gaga drama, and classic Lady Gaga high heeled shoes. Every award show should have an appearance from Lady Gaga.

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