10 people I don't want to sit next to on the bus.

by - Monday, March 28, 2011

currently: half-watching Community

So an event on the bus home today made me think of people I don't like sitting next to on the bus. So here is 10 types of people I always hope I don't get stuck sitting next to. Because when I do, the bus ride suddenly becomes less enjoyable.

10 People I don't want to sit next to on the bus. (Or in any public place for that matter.
1) The Lunchbox: They are the person that will sit next to you with Burger King, chips and a dozen donuts in their bag when you're most hungry. Even a simple half hour bus ride becomes torturous as you jealously starve while they stuff their face.

2) The Big Time Talker: The person who thinks it's convenient to hold an hour long conversation on a bus that is already noisy. And no matter how loud you turn your mp3 player - it still isn't loud enough.

3) The Stinker: Self explanatory. They're the person who smells bad and makes you want to jump out the bus or stick your head out of the emergency door just to get fresh air. Smokers fall into this category too.

4) The Disguised Stinker: They're the one that likes to cover up their bad smells with the suffocating smell of too much deodorant. Kill me with your Lynx why don't you....

5) Sweat Shop: Much like the stinker, but uncomfortably moist.

6) Cuddle Buddy: The one who thinks it's okay to invade your personal space and take up one and a half of the 2 seater seats. Dude, I can't move any further before I plaster myself to the window.

7) The Scratcher: Balls. That's all I'll say.

8) Noddy: You're sleepy. I get it. But I'm not some cushion to lean on. Either stay awake, or go and sleep in the middle of the bus - not on me.

9) The Walking Boom Box: They come onto the bus with their music blasting for everyone to hear. Hey, guess what? No one wants to hear it. Specially if it's cruddy hip hop music with too much autotune.

10) Germ Blob: You're the worst. I don't want to get sick, and I don't want your sick germs on me, so learn to cover your face. And don't touch me.


So if you take Auckland public transport and you fall into one of these 10 categories - go sit somewhere else. Please. For my sake, and probably everyone else's.

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