The Marathon of Wedding Planning

by - Thursday, July 19, 2018


I've decided wedding planning isn't like a walk in the park, nor is it a sprint. It's like a marathon. The Pinterest boards are opened. The date is set. The race is on.

Like in the first kilometre of any marathon race, the first few weeks of wedding planning feel good. You make charts, download "wedding planning lists" off Pinterest, and create endless dream boards, searching for everything from centrepieces to fairy lights. It's like you're running with that engagement adrenaline that your mind bursts with ideas and themes.

At some point, that excited buzz and energy begin to waiver. Reality is setting in. For me, it was month three. I was travelling quite a bit around the country for work so I would only be home on weekends. At the same time, D and I were trying to buy a new house, so our free time was spent talking mortgages and open homes. Wedding planning became the project I just couldn't make time for. And while we were blazè about the amount of time we had left - here we are, seven months in, with little accomplished because wedding planning dropped quickly down the priority list.

Then the further you get in, everything feels like a struggle because you're hitting your limit. In running, that's a physical limit. In wedding planning, it's the limited budget. Weddings are not cheap. And it's been difficult rationalising spending a large amount of money on "ourselves" for one day in our life. Sure, it's a big life event. But knowing that $5000 spent on catering could be $5000 fixing the house, or $5000 on an overseas holiday/honeymoon - it really puts your mind (and wallet) in place.

Like marathon running (well, "half-marathon" running in my experience), it's so easy to wish your way out of the race. There isn't a week that goes by that we joke about eloping. But while that cheap and easy way out is desirable, something about actually doing it doesn't seem satisfying. Like, if you were to just take the shortcut to the finish line, sign the papers and be done - it all means the same, but not celebrating the almost nine years we've put into this relationship seems a bit of a letdown. Not just for others either, but ourselves.

More than that, it's actually a privilege to be able to do this too. Naive 18-year-old me would have never expected to marry my high school ball date. We deserve a beautiful start to our next chapter. We essentially trained and worked for this moment.

For that reason, we can't allow ourselves to get discouraged. It's not easy, especially as the date looms closer and closer, and we're racing against time. It's testing, tiring, and sometimes choosing to go through this process annoys me. But we just have to press on, one step at a time. It will be all the more rewarding in the end.

And then after the wedding, the real marathon begins.

[Photo: Unsplash]

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