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currently: tired.

Why does everything have to start with a fight?
It's a fight of survival, a fight of honesty, a fight for correctness, a fight for identity, a fight just to prove your place in this world.

Why does everything have to start with a fight?

Forgive me for feeling annoyed, but I'm just so sick of putting so much energy for a fight that has no resolution. Is there anything you truely gain when you are in a fight? They say that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. But then again, there are no winners in a war, just many painful casualties.

I feel that everyday is just this constant battle just to achieve approval of something, gain success of another. There doesn't seem for a way to be content with what you have, because you have to fight with the rest of the world.

Just finished reading "Brave New World" by Aldous Huxley yesterday. I suggest reading it, it's a pretty good book. But then after I had finished reading it, all it did was frustrate me (much like Agatha Christie's "And Then There Were None"). In the book, it's London 632 A.F [After Ford - aka Henry Ford] in a time where babies are born in pods, people are divided into a caste system and everyone is contented because they can have as much sex and soma [drugs]as they like, because it's the norm of society.
Enter in Mr John "Savage", a man that was born naturally, outside of this scientific upbringing and brainwashing. He comes to London and cannot understand these new ways where marriage, love, pain, aging, and anger don't exist. From birth, these people of Ford have all been designated what they will do with their lives, conditioned to only think in a certain way. When John cannot bare to live in such a flawed society, he tries to isolate himself from everyone. But then, these Fordian people find so much fascination in him and his ways that are completely different to how they were brought up. John never gets left alone and in pain, shame and frustration - ends up hanging himself, he unable to continue in this flawed world.

That just makes me so annoyed. The fact that John couldn't win against these people. He couldn't find a way to be happy, so his only solution was to kill himself. What does that say? About life? About the society that we live in? About the people we are and all these conflicts with the world?

Why does everything have to start with a fight.

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