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currently: tired.

Okay, this is like my 4th time I've attempted to make a post-School Ball post.
And every time I keep drifting out of focus on doing this, or I lose consciousness. (I'm that tired.)

Anyway, now that I've claimed my laptop back from annoying child called Sister, I am gonna make my blog post before I again fall asleep.

Last night....well last night doesn't even feel like last night.
It's hard to imagine that at this time yesterday, I was dancing on the dance floor, having a good time beneath the lights, within the sounds, amongst the people.
It was like it didn't happen.

Well I know it did happen anyway. Cause I've spent all day lying in bed, smelling like hairspray, have legs that ache from overusage, and a throat that feels like I've gone and swallowed lighter fluid or something. Yesterday's Ball went past the expectations I had at the end of it all.

I knew that I would dance, I would attempt to eat $90 worth of food (ball ticket was $90...$10 more expensive than last year's) and that I will have a good time, even if my ball date was gonna be sitting on the sidelines when I'm on the dancefloor.

I don't know if its something I did, or something that Ball Date did that it really did change the night.

Because as you know, you saw the last post. I was most pessimistic about the responsibilities of being a "ball date", and I had already set down strict instructions with him that yes this was a date, but only as "friends" date. Nothing more.
And then somehow, "I just got caught up in the night" (as my friend said) and ended up hand holding, moving on to arm around waist, and then progressing on to really close slow dancing. (as in My-head-on-His-shoulder close that we looked like an actual couple and where people were actually asking me what was actually going on. There's nothing, we're just friends.)

Have to say, I do enjoy the slow dancing. Slightly awkward when Ball Date not almost perfect height for me to really lean on him properly while dancing, but it was pretty close enough. Slow dancing also gives a good amount of time to think (well when you're dancing through "Time of My Life" and 3 other slow couple dancing songs, you make yourself have time to think.)

Can't say my thoughts were all that exciting. But in the moments where I closed my eyes and let him hold me, dancing round in a circle - my thoughts were buzzing. First it was about whether I would get an allergic reaction to the fruit salad cause it had kiwifruit in it (I'm a Kiwi allergic to kiwifruit. Oh the irony). And how one shoe felt really slippery, and I was fully aware of where my feet where moving, and my attempts to not fall off my heels, or stand on anyone.
Then I had other thoughts about how close I really was to him. Thanks to a very special friend of mine and a really long facebook message on Sunday, I now really question the motives of boys when in close positions with them. So I kept thinking of whether I was indeed too close to him, and really intent on where his hands were going and how tight he was holding me.
I thought about whether my foundation was gonna smudge on his shirt. Or whether I really did have any makeup left by that time of the night.
I thought about how well my dress was holding up since he was kinda holding it up for me. (Strapless dresses are a hard way to go.)
And then I thought about him as he was humming along to the songs, and if what my friends had told me about choosing his team as my new crush. Which also made me think about unmentionable other boy while I was dancing with Ball Date. It is quite a sinful thought to think about someone else while dancing with another. (but to be fair, I swear one song we were dancing to was about that.) I kept thinking about whether me in the position I was in (being held up against another guy's body in slow dance) was really the place I should be in, and then the curiosity of what would happen if I was with said unmentionable other boy, in that exact position. Would I really feel the same way?

Or even if I felt the same feelings for unmentionable other boy anymore. Because Mr. Nice Guy was already right here for me.

Unfortunately at one point, I made the stupid mistake of looking at the other couples around me to see them full on snogging one another. Which then led me onto panicked thoughts if Ball Date was seeing the same thing...and whether I should be fully snogging him on the dance floor, just out of some weird courtesy of some sort. Mini debate went on in head where I came to the decision that even thinking about that sort of stuff (as common it is to happen with a ball date) shouldn't even occur with a "friend" ball date. (the imaginary line of friend/more than friend would have been crossed.)

So slow dancing ended, and the actions of any courtesy kiss were avoided. Have to say, I dislike couples dancing to fast party songs. It really can't be done. I probably looked like a twat because it's one of the most awkward ways to dance (specially if you're only friend-friend-dates and not couple-couple-date.)

Anyway, other highlights of night:
Singing along to all the songs I hated but knew all the lyrics to.
Eating some really good pasta stuff and some good wedges.
Eating chocolate mousse which I hadn't eaten for a while.
Eating some weird "flan" of some sort (I swear it tasted like a soyamilk coconut jelly thing. Which luckily I can bear to eat because I've had both soyamilk and coconut jelly.)
Noticing I ate way more than Ball Date, and yet still managed to finish eating at the exact same time.
Dancing with my friends in general in tight circle like groups, where I had to worry about standing on other people's dresses.
Thinking that I was getting perved on by creepy photographer.
Breaking a wine glass as I tried to get into the limo on the way back.
Afterball- spending it bouncing on the trampoline, then lying about on my friend's floor, talking about our childhood and staring at the lights.
Riding back home with my friend singing along to the radio.

It was a good night.

And on a side note: I'm really not interested in Ball Date in "that way". At least not at this moment. I know that unmentionable other boy is ...well confused. And that yes, I probably deserve better than a confused unmentionable other boy. Yes, I was semi-distracted for one night - which did give me a chance to reflect on my feelings. And yes I know that Ball Date is like the perfect gentleman in the way he pulls out chairs for me, gets me water, always asking if I'm alright, worries when I cut my finger on a broken wine glass (the bleeding wasn't that bad.)
But I think I've come to the decision that I may have a thing for witty, slightly annoying, mildly rebellious and slightly immature boys.
Which really does annoy me a little...

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