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Behind whispers and secrets

currently: breathing in. breathing out. While yawning a bit.

"Some think that they deserve more
Give a little like it's become a chore
Don't demand things
And walk yourself out the door"

[Should've Tried Harder - Hey Monday]

I've grown to like Hey Monday a lot. They don't seem the whole "like Paramore" thing anymore.

Anyway - one more week down. 2 more to go before school finishes.
And so much stress is building up. All my classes, all my afterschool activities.

And I have to say, even though I don't really like to offend people...I do love to have a good rant now and again. There's something about getting something off your chest, then people agreeing with you because you're so frustrated, which makes you feel less crazy for ranting in the first place.

So in saying that, being mean to people behind their backs is never really good. I know I do it, just cause I just want to get out my frustrations in hopes that someone will relate to me and hopefully think together how to fix it.

Then of course, I start thinking whether people talk behind my back. And well, truth is, I know they do. Someone has to be. As selfish as it seems, people always will say something about you, and you may never know what it is.

Have I ever mentioned PostSecret before? Amazing site. Its one of the blogs I stalk on the net. All around the world, people are sending in their secrets on a postcard, just to get everything off their chests.
So with that, I'm gonna post my own PostSecrets.
And obviously, the secret isn't very secret, specially if you know it's from me...but you know. Thought it would make it more interesting, and really truthful. I just won't mention who the exact people I am talking to. And you're not meant to guess. probably will try to.

Okay...Paint Shop Pro isn't working darn it. It's so temperamental.

So I'll just write them out. All out in the we go.

You make me really angry sometimes. The things that are special to me, you try to take claim over and say that your way is right. And I begin to really hate you. I just don't tell you about how I feel because I'm afraid of getting on the wrong side.
I don't want to confess that I like you. Because I'm afraid you'd stop saying hi. And I know if you did feel the same way back, it wouldn't last in the end.
Sometimes I really find you really annoying. But you are one of the few people I can count on to really be truthful.
I really miss talking to you. I know we're miles apart, and you're busy with your life, but I wish I could think of you as one of my best friends.
I was the happiest person in the world when you messaged me back. I doubt if it was really you, but I'd still like to be hopeful that you did get my message.
You're such a nice person. But I do wish I could really connect with you, because I always feel really bad when I can't.
I have a strong feeling that you regret saying yes now. Because I'm not the person you thought I was. I think you do try to cover it up, but I still can sense something isn't right.
I don't regret the time I spent with you, but I do regret the way I acted back then. You changed my life, for the better but for the worst too.
Honestly, I wish I could still see you everyday. I looked most forward to seeing you, because I know you would brighten my day.
I hate that we don't get as time to talk anymore. But part of me felt that you're glad that we don't spend that time together. Which does hurt me.
I know you mean well, but sometimes I really just can't tolerate you, especially when you win.
I'm not good enough, and I know that's why you ignore me. You never help at all.
I know I should tell you when something you do sucks, but I don't want to seem unsupportive because you will get defensive over it.
I felt angry and betrayed by you. So I told your boyfriend at the time a really big scandalous secret about you that I had learnt that day, hoping that you'd get dumped.
I joke about it, but I am actually worried that you will screw up if you take over.

Okay, well I think that's enough random secret confessing. 15 secrets for 15 different and "special" people. (if you want to call it that...)
Oh and now my Paint Shop decides to work. Never mind.
That was actually quite therapeutic to get that off my chest. Though part of me hopes that they never know.

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